选择，代价。

不经意看了一些旧照，看见了快乐。

那时，我们可以共事，也可以一块嬉闹。平衡得好，便不会有差错。

为何现在，默契没了？

也许，旧人走了，新人进来，要彼此间的火花热起来，总得需要点时间。想当初，我也费了不少时间，对大伙儿慢慢了解，将一个团队成型。可能，不是所有新人，都能够我新上任的头衔服从。所以，会感受到他们对我背后的指点，还有刻意的恶意相向。

还是，我变了？

我选择了和他们保持距离，方便办事。不想和他们谈得太多，是因为他们脑袋里装的，不可能理解我要表达的话语。问题都由我来承担的话，将距离拉开点，大家没有那么难看。

我将自己封闭了，默契瓦解，其实理所当然。选择了不去平衡，面具下的真实面，在一切是非之后，我开始费力将其掩盖。

是的，何时起，我变了。喜悦，是代价。

9 Lives.

He stepped into the shop, finds it different from normal days. Too quiet, as if all the equipments were dead. The silence, together with the heavy rain outside, chilled him.

"Oh No!!" He said to himself. Knowing what exactly is happening.

He checked the fuse. It's off, as expected. The heavy rain last night would have probably caused a short circuit. He switched it on, & re channel the power into all the machines.

Suddenly, one of the plug explodes. He was shocked, the noise & fire sparks scares him. Yet he pulled the plug out, while his staff ran away for safety. He didn't blame him for being coward, it's just a human nature to get protection. He ensured the plug is removed, & re on the main power supply.

"POP!!!" An explosion again. This time is not the plug, it's the safety fuse that blew.

He called the maintenance team, telling them what is happening. The guy told him to unplugged everything, make sure everything is not connected, switch on the power again & check the plugs one by one.

He has heard this same thing more than once. But this time is different, he was truly shocked that the explosion can recur even with all the plugs pulled out. 3rd time. 4th time. It's not some firecrackers, it's some pure power crossover that could have caused a tragedy.

Finally the maintenance guy came. Since he claimed it's a big problem he couldn't fix. The guy checked. Explosions again. 5, 6, 7...

Both of them were frighten. But they both have the responsibilities to get the problem solved. Luckily the fire never burns the their hands. Fortunately they were never injured when investigating. For one of them is expecting his 1st baby boy due out in a week or 2.

9. Total is 9 explosions. Somebody asked: "Aren't you afraid?"

"Well, what can I do? Do you expect me to ask some junior or low level to do the task?"

When they are responsible, they gotta stay firm no matter how worse the situation is. When we don't see, we think some jobs are easy, & the tasks are tiny. Every scenarios, merely makes him be more grateful. They makes him respect each & everyone around him even more.

A mistakes would have bring terrible ends to them, they knew, but they have no choice. They are just doing what is right.

爱，恨和贱。

友人说："i'm planning to holiday in Malaysia. Maybe June or July. With my new girlfriend."

"huh?! i thought you just married last year?" 我问。

"yupe. but now i'm on the way to divorce. it was like hell man!!" 他笑道，丝毫没有一点愧疚的意味。

某种程度上，我是觉得他该给与女生一点尊严，也尊重自己。毕竟，就算女生再难搞，婚姻生活再难熬，离婚手续还没办妥，便展开另一端恋情，是有点难看。难听点，这个男人，很贱。

爱里，可以有恨。

恨你雨天傻傻地为我撑伞，自己半身湿透也不在乎，感冒了说没什么，睡一下便好。恨你胆敢在大众睽睽之下，屈身换我点头说：I Do。恨你，让我没有说不的可能。

当爱意退去，取而代之的，究竟是什么？

恨里，丝毫没有爱的空间。

恨她不懂温柔，只会念不停说我不会照顾自己，要她担心。恨她没有了光彩，只会躲在家里，不停地在不对的时候拨我的电话号码。恨她，让我感受到莫名的沉重。

当恨意衍生，它取代了爱，扭曲了对方的心意，让人厌恶眼前人，忘却两人过去的山盟海誓。

他忘了，当天他跪在那里，期盼着她点头时的全心全意。那时，她是他的全部，摇个头会要了他的命。

她记得，当天她站在那里，泪流着点头时他绽放的笑容。那时，他是她的全部，她的命在那一刻交到他手里。

一个人可以忘记，但不可以忽视。不然，便是贱。