Worried / 担心。

without a single doubt, i was utterly shocked, by your sudden appearance. hence, i asked: why do you come here?

i know, i must have looked uncomfortable. because i would have welcome you, just like i always did.

you smiled, & answered. what you've told, wasn't matter at all, it was the smile, that i couldn't understand. what lies beneath it, was what i wanted to know the most, but i moved my sight away.

"i tried to pull you back in the group so badly"

i worried. i wasn't ready.

afraid that what's kept in my mind might be easily seen. without a word, you can read them all. though i know they have actually shown, from the files & books i dropped during our short Q&A.

i'm not retarded. but as surprisingly as it is, i am, in front of you.

& i am. putting everything behind a shattering mask.

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你说: 谈到我的偶像，我真的...

“眉飞色舞?”，抢先一步，我接答。

呵呵。话题沿着他们打开，有官司，也有厕所自慰的笑话。

"Make sure you come to KL again. Or else...we fly to HK. hahaha. short & simple."

当官司案了解之后，我这么留言给他们。有没有矫情，我不知道。

你说，支持偶像，还是保持一点距离地好。你又说，我还真的像是家人一样，会替他们担心。

我记得我说，如果距离都已经那么近了，为何要刻意地将它拉开? 我想，那无非是勉强地把大家实在的一面加以掩饰，愚昧地骗自己说，大家都很完美。

我不记得你是否说，他还真是很真性情咧! 我没有异议，大家做回自己，不惺惺作态，那才是写实。正如我和你，不是吗?!

担心，与像不像家人没有关系。